Saying No

Saying No Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic Why do some people say yes when they mean no? You may be tempted to say yes to someone when you would like to say no because of fear of offending the other person. It may also be that you do not want to feel like the odd person out or a killjoy  So how do we go about saying no (in life situations) if we are not used to doing it? Be prepared to say no. If you know you are going into a situation where you think someone will ask something of you that you don’t want to do then be prepared. Think of no as being your first response and yes as being one you will give if the suggestion is more appealing that you first thought. Try saying, “I’m sorry. I[…]

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Rejection

Rejection Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic Rejection can be a worrisome thing to cope with. It can have a very damaging impact on us. Being rejected by someone it can often make us feel small, worthless, insecure and unwanted. We can often lose our self-confidence and want to retreat into our self until we feel strong again. Most people like to be loved and like being popular. It makes us feel good about ourselves. So the way we handle rejection can be an important factor on our future feelings. How we deal with rejection is dependent on many factors, including our personality, childhood and past relationship experiences. Rejection comes in many forms from declined invitation to a birthday party to a lover walking out on you. Rejection can be a date who doesn’t show up or a date who says that they[…]

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Fear – Rabbit Caught in Headlights

Fear – Rabbit Caught in Headlights Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic You may not have seen it for yourself but you will probably know what a rabbit caught in headlights means. For those who don’t I will explain. A driver with headlights on at night time usually driving down a country road will often see a rabbit in the middle of the road staring at the oncoming car instead of trying to get out of the way. The common explanation for this is that the rabbit is so taken with fear that it just freezes. Its normal body systems all but close down and it can’t function normally because of the fear of these lights (and a ton of metal) heading straight for it. Compare that to what can often happen to us when we are fearful. It isn’t always the case[…]

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Older But Not Necessarily Wiser

Older But Not Necessarily Wiser Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic One of my sisters is 8 years younger than me. When she was about 7 she boldly stated that she never wanted to get “old like me”. Bear in mind I was a ripe old age of 15 at the time. To her, anyone over 8 and a half was old. However despite not wanting to be an ancient 15 year old, she often came to me when she needed things done like help with her homework, tidying the house or asking or when she needed to know things like “how we got here …..” Like most of us, she saw anyone older than herself as knowledgeable and wise. The same thing can be said of anyone. No matter what generation we consider ourselves to be part of we often turn to[…]

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Making Dreams a Reality

Making Dreams a Reality Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic We all have them …. dreams that is. Dreams are just ambitions that you have not yet begun to act upon so as to make a reality. It seems that the younger we are the more ambitious the dreams we have for ourselves. Ask any child and they will have huge ambitions with seemingly no limits. But as we get older we tend to sometimes let our dreams remain dreams and accept reality as whatever it is that we have right now. We don’t appreciate the fact that reality is not static it is fluid and we can achieve anything we put our mind to no matter what age we are or life situation we find ourselves in. Want it Bad enough How much do you want it? One thing is for sure,[…]

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Love – An emotional impulse or a physical expression

Love – An emotional impulse or a physical expression Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic It is one of the most sought after gifts that one person can bestow on another; the gift of being loved. But it is all too easy to dismiss this ‘Love Gift’ as an intangible emotion which can or cannot be proved to even exist. It is the easiest thing in the world to utter words like ‘I Love You’ but how can it be proved that this famous phrase is not just an empty gesture with no substance but a heart-felt sentiment with feeling and meaning? So this then begs the question as to whether love is actually emotion or a physical. Some might argue that the physical love to which I refer is actually simply an outward expression of the emotional love that one person feels[…]

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Is Your Love Life All You Want it to be

Is Your Love Life All You Want it to be? Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic There are many aspects to what we commonly call “Love”. There is the love we have for friends and family. There is also the love many of us feel for the world, its inhabitants and the universe. But the love for an intimate relationship is probably the type most fraught with challenges and insecurities. We tend to think of the loving feelings we have for anyone else who is not an intimate partner as everlasting and probably in most cases unconditional. The love you have for your friends and family may not be high intensity but it will probably last a lifetime. It is the kind of bond that would take a very serious problem to break. Love with an intimate partner is, on the other hand[…]

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Intimacy and You

Intimacy and You Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic I have learned many things about intimacy over the years through study and working with individuals and couples. But three things stand out from everything else I have learned: 1. Intimacy begins in the mind not in the body 2. There can be a huge difference between intimacy and sex 3. Being emotionally and physically intimate is usually inbuilt and rarely disappears (even when it has not been experienced for a long time) While the first two above are really important I would like to have a look at the 3rd in just a bit more detail. It is often the case that when a relationship comes to an end the feeling of intimacy diminishes. There can be all sorts of reasons for this and usually as self-confidence is rebuilt the emotional intimacy you[…]

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Importance of touch

Importance of touch Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic Of all our senses sight, hear, touch, smell and taste, touch is up there amongst the most important. In many animal species the comfort of the mother gathering her young for bodily contact is one of the first to be enjoyed. Like all the other senses touch can be viewed on at least 2 levels; physical and emotional. Just as the sight, sound, taste or smell of something familiar can evoke memorable emotions of the past, so can touch. Touch is important for obvious reasons. It allows us to feel pain so we can retreat from danger. It helps with orientation, i.e. our brain knows we are sitting because it feels pressure on the bottom or standing through the souls of our feet. So touch has some pretty basic functions which 99% of the[…]

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How to Construct an Elevator Speech

How to Construct an Elevator Speech Contact me now if you want to find out more about this topic No matter where you are you can often get asked what you do for a living. This can happen at a networking event or just on a social night out. Unless you have a well-defined or obvious career like a lawyer or nurse, most people stumble and stutter when they are asked (unexpectedly) about what they do for work. This can often make the person asking lack confidence in your ability as a professional. An elevator speech (so called named because you can say it by the time an elevator goes from floor 1 to floor 2) is designed to clearly state what you do and can be given as a reflex answer to the unexpected question about what you do for a living. This will solve both the issue of being clear[…]

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